


Hetalia in the Underworld

by Copperbell111



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:03:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14170512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copperbell111/pseuds/Copperbell111
Summary: Join a bunch of crossdressing sailors as the HMS Victory and Admiral Nelson inadvertanly sink, taking Arthur Kirkland with them.  They end up in the mythical but very real Underworld.  A year later Francis Bonnefoy deliberately gets himself in a battle with the English, and follows him down there, and is surprised to see Arthur has become the new Prince of Atlantis... and has been celibate since he got there...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Dandy in the Underworld by Adam Ant
> 
>  

Battle of Trafalgar 1805

On board the HMS Victory at the battle of Trafalgar Lieutenant Kirkland looked through his telescope to behold the French ships in the distance. There were much more than he was expecting and he looked defeated already, having said that he was still going to fight them. Something to do with the boss wanting to strengthen the Empire… either way he was doomed.

"I see forty ships sir, approaching from the south." He said and looked again. "I think we are going to be in the middle of some French onslaught…"

Admiral Nelson sat at his writing desk as Arthur gazed out of the huge window at the back of the ship. "Is that right England?" he uttered, as he took the telescope from him and held it to his eye patched eye. "I see no ships…" he said with a frown.

Arthur took the telescope and held it to his other eye and sighed. "Now do you see them?"

"GREAT SCOTT!" screamed Nelson… "Shoot! Fire! Man the lifeboats…. Aaargh!"

"Might I suggest raising a flag up the mizzen sir…" Arthur interrupted his panic attack. He stopped panicking immediately.

"Quite right lieutenant Kirkland… raise a few flags up the mizzen… what message should they portray?"

"Hmm…" uttered Arthur. "No idea sir… but a message of hope or something…"

"What do you expect England…Sir?"

"Oh… defeat… that many ships… that's far too many we're going to be slaughtered…" Arthur said as Nelson wrote with his good hand.

"England expects that we will be slaughtered…" he said as he wrote it. "It doesn't look very inspiring…"

"Don't put THAT up!" Arthur said in alarm as he took the paper. "No… how about … I expect every man to do his duty…"

"Oh that's a good one…" Nelson agreed as he wrote it down. "England expects every man to do his duty." He uttered as he wrote it then and gave it to the Bosun who got them to run a few flags up the mizzen. "That will show them ey? Those Froggies… we are not going to be beaten."

"Quite right sir." Arthur replied as he looked through the telescope again. "I say I dashed well know one of those Froggies…" he said as he beheld Francis Bonnefoy standing on deck looking superbly superior in his blue silk frills. "Doesn't he look marvellous?" he muttered sarcastically. "Prepare to be blown to smithereens my friend..." he said under his breath.

"What was that England?" Nelson asked. "Were you talking to me?"

"No sir… I was just er…musing." Arthur replied, hoping that he hadn't come across to Admiral Nelson as a wierdo for talking to himself. Besides he thought he looked even more handsome in his British Naval uniform than Francis ever did.

"You know I was thinking when you have a moment… England…" Admiral Nelson said, looking shy and naïve. "Maybe we could play a little game…" he tittered. "Just you and I… what do you say?"

"A little game sir?" gulped Arthur. He knew what he meant by a little game and he didn't like Nelson's little games. For one he was over bearing, and he didn't take no for an answer.

"Yes… lets play dress up."

England groaned inwardly and continued to look out the window at the battle that was beginning.

"Not now sir, I think we might be at war…"

"Even so… I thought I might dress up like a lady and you could wear the…." He continued excitedly.

"No sir…" gasped Arthur.

"Why not?" Nelson asked "It's a lot of fun… oh please?" He pleaded sounding quite disappointed. "You look so good in leather… and I would be very gentle with you." He continued trying to persuade him.

"No…" He uttered again in shock. "Besides we are at war sir…" he said and muttered something about him being disgusting.

"All right…if we win… will you wear the leather?"

"Alright… " Arthur replied. "If we win…" he said and shook his head. Nelson was old and decrepit and he wasn't looking forward to any of that. He continued to look through the telescope hoping that Nelson would come to his senses.

"Jolly good! Now fetch me my basque and tights outfit, as I am going up on deck to encourage the men. They need all the help they can get."

Arthur groaned and shook his head, face palming for a moment. "Um… Admiral Nelson sir…" he said "Don't you think you'd be an obvious target for the French gunners wearing a basque sir?"

"Nonsense!" He said excitedly. "Fetch it now! I want to look like a tart!"

"May I make a suggestion sir?" Arthur continued. "Of perhaps wearing your uniform?"

"My uniform?" Nelson asked dejectedly. "Aw… do I have to?"

"It would be the best thing sir…"

Meanwhile on board the Bucentaure Admiral Villeneuve and Francis Bonnefoy were on deck looking out to sea as they approached the British ships in the distance.

"There they are sir!" Francis said as he also looked through his telescope. He looked to see that Villeneuve had turned up on deck wearing a bra and panties, and he looked quite lovely.

"You insisted I wear this and I'm wearing it… and I feel ridiculous France." He said trying to be dignified. "This doesn't feel comfortable at all… "

"Even so Admiral Villeneuve… you do look attractive…" Francis said looking like he was in love or something.

"Doesn't this make me an obvious target for the English gunners?" He muttered. "I'm cold… going to change into my uniform. Call me when we are nearly there… I feel ridiculous."

"You look hot sir…" Francis said with a smile.

"Ridiculous." Muttered Villeneuve as he disappeared down below to get changed.

The ships approached each other and sailed alongside one another only just missing a collision. Francis stood on the bannister edge holding on to the ropes with his sword already drawn. "Prepare to die Angleterre!" he cried "Surrender!"

"Never!" Arthur cried also drawing his sword… "I dare you to board the HMS Victory… we'll blow your stupid … ship… out of the water…" he gulped as he realised the Bucentaure was actually a damn sight bigger.

"Bugger…"

Battle ensued, and the French and English sailors fought with rifles, guns and cannons, shooting the bejesus out of one another. Francis swung from his ship over to Arthurs and landed slap bang right on top of him with his sword right at his throat. He could cut his neck if he wanted but he decided to tease Arthur instead as that was more fun.

"Get off me you stupid Frog…" Screamed Arthur.

"Unlikely Mon Angleterre… you look so pathetic at ze end of my blade…" he said. Then out of nowhere Arthur rolled over and the situation was reversed, he was the one holding a blade to Francis' throat and straddling him. Somehow though the sexual tension was obvious, and both of them felt slightly awkward.

"Sorry…" Arthur said and stood up, turning the blade a few times in his hand. "Get up Froggie, we'll settle this like gentlemen!" he said in a chivalrous way. "Grab your sword."

As they fought, they were pretty much an equal match and their ships were pounding the hell out of each other, with the cannons. The French gunners were shooting from high up in the masts at anything on the HMS Victory, including a man who had turned up dressed like a lady wearing a fetching bra and some leather. Nelson was quite impressed and strolled up to him looking a little shy. "We've only just met but… I have to say you look absolutely lovely my dear…" he said, ignoring the fact that the man also had a beard and a tattoo on his arm that said MOTHER with a picture of a giant squid. He also had a hairy chest but he wasn't complaining.

The French gunners who were aiming at the sexily dressed man accidentally hit Nelson who was standing next to him and down he went. "Agh… my back is shot through…" he cried "England… England!" he cried, wanting Arthur to come to his aid.

"ADMIRAL!" cried Arthur momentarily distracted by this. Francis then saw his chance. Whilst the Englishman was busy gawping at the man who was dressed like a lady and of course the Admiral who was just shot, he grabbed the nearest Sea Bass and whacked Arthur in the face with it, sending him flying over the edge of the HMS Victory.

As Arthur went down, he hit his head off the side of the ship and landed in the water. Realising he had gone too far, Francis panicked and tried to get off the ship, and it was a good job too because it was sinking. He had to watch in horror as the HMS Victory broke apart and sank into the sea slowly…but everyone was going to die, that was certain… He couldn't see Arthur anywhere, and had to conclude that he had drowned in the onslaught.

However, Arthur awoke… in a very unfamiliar place… it was a little beach somewhere but it was not just any beach... for he had certainly gone down with his ship... The sky was a strange brown burnt umber, and the light had faded so much that it was permenantly twilight. Arthur Kirkland had gone down to the depths of the Earth and entered THE UNDERWORLD.

Dandy in the Underworld

Dandy in the Underworld

When will he come up for air?

Oh will anybody ever care?

(Dandy in the Underworld - Adam Ant or T Rex)


	2. Arthur gone to Hell?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the nations gather to discuss what might have happened to Arthur.. nobody can understand a word Scotland says. They realise Arthur is in Hades and they agree to try to get there to find him which is not easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissing the gunners daughter means to be flogged over the ships cannon.

Arthur awoke somewhere really unfamiliar. There was a strange smell in the air like sulphur but it wasn't overpowering, and as he sat up on the beach he saw that its rocky shores were kissed by the spray of the blackest of oceans. The gigantic HMS Victory lay on skewered on its side a little, grounded on this strange beach. Immediately he remembered what had happened to Admiral Nelson, and, using the anchor rope, climbed aboard the Victory, and ran to the hold where Nelson lay in the arms of his first mate coughing and obviously dying. It was a sombre scene, and Arthur knelt down with the other members of the crew at his death.

"Where are we?" he mumbled "This does not feel like England anymore…"

"We were off the coast of Spain Sir… remember? Trafalgar?" uttered the first mate in reply.

"Oh Hardy…" the Admiral replied "Like I said…England…"

"No, Spain…"

"Tish and Nonsense… England rules the world." he uttered. Arthur felt a bit humbled, yes the British Empire was quite huge but now France would be in control… that was certain. Nelson didn't know that and because he was dying he didn't speak up.

"Hardy!" He said to his first mate.

"Yes sir…" he uttered sadly "What can I do for you sir?"

"Kiss me Hardy…"

The first mate thought about it for a minute and looked uncomfortable. "No…" he gasped.

"Just a little peck on the cheek…" mumbled Nelson. "It won't take a minute…"

"No…its not appropriate, we're surrounded by… by… sailors…" he replied.

"Oh go on…" he uttered and then slumped dead in the first mate's arms. Later Arthur and the first mate were talking as they contemplated their situation. Things just weren't normal, and this was not somewhere off the coast of Spain. For one, the sky was brown burnt umber, and there were huge mountains everywhere, disappearing into mist.

"I want to say Hardy… I'm really sorry… for your loss. I know you and Admiral Nelson were close…"

"Hmm…" The first mate uttered "Except my name isn't Hardy …"

"Isn't it?"

"No… no…" he replied and paused for a moment. "It's Hornblower…"

Arthur thought that name, for a sailor must be infinitely worse if one was going to tease anyone about blowing someone's horn for example, but he dismissed those thoughts immediately.

"So…why did he call you Hardy?"

"I really wouldn't like to go into that Sir…" Hornblower replied. "The er… memories… are too traumatic…"

Arthur paused wondering why he said such a strange thing.

"Did he play the dress up game with you?"

"Yes, he did Sir." Hornblower replied. "And he made me kiss the gunners daughter Sir…"

"No!" Gasped Arthur in disbelief "The gunners daughter?"

"Yes sir… I never quite got over that…"

Arthur couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only did Nelson continually beg his men to dress up, he also made poor Hornblower kiss the gunners daughter. "If you don't mind me saying so Hornblower that was dashed awful… "

"Quite…" He said and wiped a tear from his eye.

Meanwhile on the overworld the world conference was just not the same without England there. Some of the nations gathered on board the Bucentaure to discuss the situation. Gilbert Beilschmidt (Prussia) was there and Antonio Carriedo (Spain), Heracles Karpusi (Greece) Romano Vargas (South Italy) Alfred F Jones (America), Allistor Kirkland (Scotland) and of course Francis Bonnefoy (France). Allistor was running the meeting and he got up to speak first.

"Right…" he said, his Scots accent prevalent in his speech. "As ye ken…oor wee brother git killed by rat frog ower rerr… ah vote we run the wee bastard through wi a sword..."

Nobody understood a word of that. The blank faces told Allistor he had to try to speak like his sissy younger brother Arthur… luckily he was a good mimic even if he overdid it a bit. He tried again.

"Okay.. ahem.. dash it all Geoffrey what what what… must punish France for taking the life of our beloved brother in battle I say…" he said sounding really English. So much in fact that everyone laughed or tittered a little, except Francis who scowled at him.

Francis stood up to defend his position. "Alors!" he exclaimed. "He fell from the HMS Victory, all I did was hit him with an enormous Sea Bass in a show of fun… of a sense of daring do… I didn't want to kill him… why… I … I loved him for all our fights and arguments…"

"Aye but he git killed and yew done it a barmpot.." Roared Scotland. Everyone was afraid but again nobody understood a word. He sighed and repeated in English. "Ahem…my dear brother was murdered by your hand you rogue…Geoffrey what what what… I say…" he said overdoing it… and nobody knew who Geoffrey was either… there was no Geoffrey, he just wanted to sound English.

Antonio stood up hardly able to control his giggling. "Senors … Senors… let us conclude that the death of Arthur Kirkland was no more than an accident…" he said "None of us wanted to kill him.. just rough him up a bit."

"Aye well the wee sissy deserved rat noo an' again aye… " Allistor laughed once again nobody understood. "For fuck sake… Ah'm Scottish not fuckin Welsh.. how come naebuddy unnerstauns me?" he sighed .. "Jesus.. ok… My dear brother did deserve a roughing up old chap Geoffrey guffaw guffaw I say… " he continued.

Everybody was by this time rolling round on the floor laughing, except Heracles who was practically dozing off in his chair. "I do not think Arthur is dead." He said when everyone had calmed down.

"Whit?" Allistor asked "Whit are ye sayin Greece? He's no deed?" he uttered "I mean my dear brother has not died at all Geoffrey what what what?"

"I am sure he is not dead." Heracles said, as he stood up. "Have you ever heard of… Hades…?"

"I have hahaha!" Romano piped up. "It's where I go for Pasta on Fridays…"

"No… Hades…" Heracles continued. "The underworld." He continued under the gaze of everyone there. "In mythology, it is the dark place that one might end up if one almost died but not quite…" he turned to Alfred who was listening intently and fiddling around with his gun. "You might call that place 'Hell'" he said to him. Alfred quickly put his gun in its holster and tried to look shocked. "Let me get this right Greece …pardner…" he said doing cowboy speak. "You reckon Artie got sucked into Hell, right?"

"Right... but not exactly… you see Hades is like your idea of Hell but it is a real place, not a spiritual underworld… a real one. And according to the Iliad… people.. there is a gateway to Hades just off the coast of Spain…" Greece continued "As the HMS Victory was lost without a trace including all her soldiers and Admiral Nelson, I say that it went to Hades…"

"So Vot makes you think this nonsense…" Gilbert piped up. "Vot if there is no such place…?"

"I believe he went to Hades because I sense his presence there…" Greece said mysteriously. "I am psychic that way…"

"You…you really believe that Arthur is alive?" gasped Francis looking very hopeful. His joy was unmistakable.

"Indeed I do… the only trouble is…if he is in Hades… the only way to find him and bring him back is to go there… and that is not an easy thing to do."

"What do you think we should do Heracles?" Asked Francis, looking all sad again. "I miss him you see…" he uttered. Everyone looked at him in puzzlement, after all they thought they were enemies. "I do miss him… I'm not lying…" Francis said, and he wasn't lying. He had been downright miserable since Arthur disappeared, and even though France now ran half the world that used to belong to Britain, it was a hollow victory. "I miss him like you wouldn't believe." He sighed not caring what anyone thought about that.

"I am afraid entry to the underworld is purely on an accidental basis… if we were to try to find one of the entrances… its likely we wouldn't find it…" Heracles said. "But… I am ready to try if all of you wish to find him…"

"Well I jolly well do…" Allistor simpered trying to imitate his brother so that people would understand him. "The little blighter owes me twenty pounds Geoffrey what what what…"

"Yep." Alfred said as he leaned forward. "Artie needs a hero…and I'm a hero…" he said with his eyebrow raised. "I'm in… and we got the best Navy in the world…"

"Oh alright Ja…" Gilbert groaned. He really didn't believe in this but he thought it would be worth joining in.

"I too will seek a way to enter Hades and find him." Antonio said "Like Scotland… he owes me 20 pesos…"

"He owes me for last weeks pasta!" Romano said "He never paid me back!"

"Thank you… we will start our search tomorrow." Heracles said. "I know he is in Hades, think about it this way, if he was dead, then England would cease to exist and yet England continues…"

"He has a point…" Gilbert said.

"So wurr no gonnae gie France a kick in the baws then fur murder?" Allistor grumbled, of course he had to try again as once again everyone was clueless. "I meant…Geoffrey… haha guffaw… I say… are we not going to punish France for his part in all this?"

A long time passed. Months and months of searching for a way into Hades, the underworld, were fruitless. Francis in particular was no longer interested in battles or anything really because, without Arthur it wasn't worth it. Arthur always made everything exciting, and fun… and special, even the fights and arguments were sexually charged. And so it came to it that a year later, in the summertime, France and England, (without Arthur) came to blows in the waters off the coast of Spain again, and by this time he was done. He just couldn't be bothered with it and neither could the sailors who were caught up in the battle, so they didn't even try to fight. What was the point without Angleterre? Because of the lack of enthusiasm the Bucentaure got pummelled over and over by some nondescript little frigate and blown to smithereens.

Francis found himself gasping for air and with the realisation that he'd been caught in some sort of current he couldn't swim to safety. Down he went, down, down, deeper and down into the unforgiving ocean with the wreckage of his ship, into a swirling whirlpool that just seemed endless, till finally he lost consciousness completely.

To Be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Francis goes down to the Underworld and is told of the new Prince of Atlantis... it turns out that it is Arthur and they fight...sorta..

When Francis awoke he was on a strange little beach, in what seemed to be an enormous cave, only, there was what appeared to be a sky, and huge mountains surrounding the bay, so if it was a cave then it was the largest he had ever seen. He groaned and sat up wondering what in Gods name happened to him. He came to, and there in front of him was the ship he was on, the Bucataure, half smashed against some rocks and there, in the position it had been a year ago, the mighty HMS Victory, grounded and leaning to one side. He stood up and walked over to it to make sure it was the ship he thought it was. Sure enough, the name of the HMS Victory was still intact on the bow of the vessel. He gazed in awe at it for a few moments then as he turned to the beach he saw a grave, marked with a wooden cross. His heart lurched for a moment, hoping that it was not Arthur's grave. He approached it and read the small inscription on the cross.

"Here lies Admiral Nelson…" was all it read. He sighed, thankful that it was not Arthur who was buried there, but in fact it was the man who had sought to destroy the French Empire.

Francis was all alone, and it seemed none of the sailors who had also gone down with the ship had survived, not one of them. That saddened him somewhat, to think that they had all died, but he knew that even down here he had to survive, and maybe, just maybe he would find Arthur. However the Underworld was a depressing place, it was sort of twilight all the time, and although there appeared to be some light, it was dull, like a really dull evening, almost dark but not quite. There were the remnants of sunlight on the horizon, or at least what seemed like sunlight.

He walked along and soon he came across what looked like a small town, but by the time he'd got there, he felt extraordinarily depressed and forgetful and as he walked along the old streets, he realised that the people there were lost and affected by some kind of malady. Most of them were lost sailors, some Royal Navy and some were Pirates. Either they were drunk or lost, Francis didn't know which really. Stuck in the ground was a crude wooden sign which read "Welcome to Saltcoven". So that was the name of this cursed little place. The houses were falling apart, and most of the rickety buildings tapered away to tiny attics that looked like they could collapse at any moment.

At the top of a hill stood a rickety bent old tavern and Francis thought it best to make his way up there. As he tried to get there he was harassed by zombiefied lost sailors who were attracted to his "almost alive" aura, where as they were almost dead. He had to run up that hill or else they would surely have used him for immoral purposes, not that it was a bad thing per se, but they looked like they hadn't had a wash in weeks, at least, and Francis had higher standards than that. He trotted up the hill and eventually got to the old tavern where he kicked open the grotty old door and went inside. He was surprised to see that it was quite empty but for a few drunkards and a fat man behind the bar, who wore an apron sprayed with what might have been blood. The Frenchman pulled a face for a moment, wondering what that gruesome substance might be, before finally ordering a French red wine to drink, and maybe contemplate his situation.

"You new around 'ere?" snorted the fat man. "Cos the drink be free fer newcomers… by order of Capn' Kirkland…"

"Captain Kirkland?" Gasped Francis "I know him… that is… I know of a Lieutenant Kirkland… are we talking about the same man?"

"Dunno mate…" Replied the man behind the bar. "But he's the big cheese around here…."

"Cheese? Like Camambert?" Francis asked.

"More like Cheddar…" The barman replied.

Francis almost spat out his wine. Cheddar was awful, but he had to keep a lid on it for fear of attracting attention from any of the zombie like inhabitants of this town.

Not knowing what else to do, Francis spent a couple of hours in that tavern whilst the barman tried to tell him a story of how Saltcoven used to be a British outpost on the overworld, but ended up lost there, and then began to talk about Atlantis for some reason.

"We all come under the Jurisdiction of Atlantis, which up until last year was the dominion of Posiedon…" he was saying "Now we all have to beware the new Prince of Atlantis…" he said. "I don't know for sure but there's all these rumours about him…"

"Really? What sort of rumours?"

"Well…" he said as he leaned forward "They say he has the strength of a hundred men…" he said "…he is a man to be feared for sure…" he continued "Apparently he killed Posiedon with one punch to the gut."

"Killed Posiedon?" gasped Francis "But…wasn't Posiedon God of the Sea?"

"Technically…" The barman replied. "Nobody ever met him though…" he said and paused "Anyway, we was all under the law of Posiedon, and then comes along this golden haired Angel… and he dun smack him one in the gut and killed him instantly… we was all dumbfounded…"

"This Prince of Atlantis sounds incredible…" Francis gasped as the barman continued.

"Yes that's right… " he said "One thing though… we're not allowed to play the dress up game anymore, and he gets really annoyed if we kiss the gunners daughter…" he continued "If we do any of that he punishes us."

"Goodness!" exclaimed Francis "How does he punish you?"

"The Tea room sir… "

"What is… the Tea room…"

"Trust me … you don't want to know…." Gulped the bartender. "Anyways, I have procured a couple of fresh Sea Bass for the Tavern special, would you like to order?" he asked as he pointed to the huge fish on the counter. "What do you say?"

"Sea Bass?" Francis asked, still thinking about this Prince of Atlantis who sounded amazing. "Oui, that sounds like a perfectly acceptable meal."

A moment later everyone jumped as there was a loud bang and the door to the Tavern flew open, and there standing in the doorway, was a heroic figure wearing what looked like a British Naval Uniform.

"AAAARGH!" cried the barman. "Sir you must bow, you must show respect… its the Prince of Atlantis."

"Pardon Monsieur? Prince of Atlantis?" asked Francis clueless as the man entered the bar. Standing there in the doorway, the wind blowing all kinds of debris in behind him, and his hair blowing in the wind was none other than Arthur Kirkland. For a moment Francis looked at him in awe, but then shook it off. Somehow Arthur had come to the underworld and now ruled in the place of Poseidon.

Arthur approached him looking fearsome. Francis gulped and almost fell off his bar stool, for he looked magnificent.

"Don't I know you old chap?" Arthur asked raising a brow.

"Ahhh…." Francis uttered as he stood up "Is this not a little pretentious of you Mon Angleterre?"

" Oh, it is you…" he said rolling his eyes. "I thought I had been mistaken… but now I see you in the flesh… "

"Oui…" Francis said, his bottom lip quivering.

"Francis Bonnefoy… my old… enemy…" he uttered. "It's your fault I ended up in this place. Welcome to Saltcoven… one of the ten Hells…" he said, clearly flirting with him, the way his eyes seemed to undress the Frenchman's body without him even having to touch him.

"Ten?" Francis uttered "Oh cos you know I thought there were seven Hells…" he replied, the look of lust in his eyes as he gazed upon Arthur's glorious form.

"TEN!" Yelled Arthur. "At least this one has been claimed for the British Empire." he said licking his lips a little as if in anticipation of something. "If you hadn't hit me with a Sea Bass I might have survived that battle…" he uttered. "You got me at a vulnerable moment."

"Because you were staring at a huge man wearing womens underwear… Oui I can understand that…."

"No… because one of your gunners shot Admiral Nelson that's why!" he said, his eyes narrowing. "Therefore, we shall now finish it." he continued and stood back drawing his sword "On guard Froggie…."

"Touche Angleterre!" He said with a smile. This was what he had been missing, for once he felt the fire in his heart burn again. "Mon Dieu I have missed you…"

The Bartender hid behind the bar and all the drunkards followed him, as they were all frightened of the Prince of Atlantis. Francis drew his sword and grinned. "You're right Mon Cher… we did not finish our little tet ta tet… did we?"

The two men locked swords, and eyes, and the sword fight began, after a few moments, Arthur, with a flick of his blade, undid Francis' neck tie and grinned. Francis chuckled, this was exciting. The sword fight continued, and Arthur was surprised when Francis cut the top buttons off his Naval coat, making it open a little more, revealing his undershirt."

"Ohhh… that was uncalled for Frog…"

"Call me Francis…" He replied with a wink. The sword fight continued and in a moment when the two locked swords, they moved closer, gazing into each others eyes, and something incredible grabbed a hold of them, a force uncontrollable, and before they even realise it they had succumbed to the sexual tension and their lips almost touched. Francis felt his knees go wobbly as he felt the heat from Arthur's soft mouth almost upon his own. Arthur too, began to breathe shallowly, as he stood there, locked in this almost embrace with quite the most sensual man he'd ever known, and one that he'd missed deeply all this time.

"Mon Cher…" whispered Francis "It has been so long…"

"Far too long…" gasped Arthur, his eyes practically raping the Frenchman.

"I'm sorry I hit you with a Sea Bass…"

"Forgiven…"

Arthur pushed him away and the sword fight continued, however a few moments later Arthur had disarmed him, and his sword went flying across the room. Instead Francis picked up one of the Sea Bass on the counter and Arthur looked like he couldn't quite believe that there could be such a coincidence. Luckily there was another one there so the stakes were even.

"Do your worst Francis…" he uttered as he brandished the other Sea Bass. "I'm ready for you."

For some time the two men whacked each other with the Sea Bass, over and over, breaking glass, and tables and everything in the tavern. The man behind the bar was wondering how he was going to clean up this mess, and the drunkards… well they didn't care much, they just decided to drink away all the booze.

Eventually, Arthur also disarmed Francis of his Sea Bass and then threw away his own, and then he had him pinned to a table, on top of him, holding his wrists down tight against the wood and pressing himself down on him. Francis felt how hard he was as he looked down, Arthur was pushing down with a pelvic thrust upon him more than just little. It was quite exciting for him. He breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling passionately, and Arthur too, excited, his face flushed, his mind full of indecent thoughts… he realised he'd spent far too much time in the company of Admiral Nelson, for he was ready to …to…

Francis sighed as he felt Arthurs lips upon his own and he opened his mouth to allow him to kiss properly, and then he kissed him back.

"I really have missed you Mon Cher…" he uttered.

Arthur stared at him, breathing deeply. "We have to get out of this Tavern…" he said. "Come on… " and with that he let Francis stand up and without taking his eyes off him, he led him out of the Tavern, holding his hand.


	4. Fulfilment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has been celibate since his descent into the underworld and finds Francis irresistible now. Sex!!!

Outside the old tavern a black carriage awaited, pulled by two black horses and an ominous dark driver who covered his face up with a cowl. Arthur emerged with Francis in tow and got into the carriage with him, which set off quickly, with the two men inside.

"Mon Cher…" uttered Francis in husky tones "This is your carriage?"

"Indeed…" Arthur replied "We're going to the palace." he uttered and pulled the Frenchman close to kiss him deeply. "I have missed you…" he groaned. "Being here in the Underworld…is a lonely existence…" he said "... and without you I have remained celibate..."

"You have slept with no one..?" uttered Francis as he kissed him back feeling free to explore the Englishman's mouth with his own. He undid Arthur's uniform buttons and then his shirt buttons exposing his well toned chest. Spreading Arthur's legs a little, Francis manoeuvred himself to kneel in between them, his mouth caressing his bare chest.

"No one... and now I want you..." Arthur groaned, his hands in Francis' hair, kissing him sensually.

"So…how did you become… Prince of Atlantis…" gasped Francis gazing down at Arthurs magnificence between his legs. "Mon Dieu…" he uttered his hand pressing on him.

Arthur felt a shiver of excitement make his body shudder all over and he involuntarily thrusted into Francis' hand. "Uhhh…" he gasped "Damn…" he uttered breathing shallowly. "Well… it was all a matter of making the locals believe that… ahhh…"

"You certainly succeeded in making them respect you Angleterre… " Francis hissed "Look at you.. you're so hard like a rock…"

Arthur leaned forward to feel Francis too and he grinned "You're the same…" he whispered, continually kissing him.

"Did you expect anything less..?" he groaned.

The carriage shook violently as they rode over the rocky terrain, and Arthur fell out of his seat, right on top of Francis who laid back willingly on the floor of the carriage, his Englishman straddling him now, his hard member close to his own, obvious in his dark pantaloons. Francis was excited as he felt that involuntary thrust again as Arthur sat there on top of him, the movement of the carriage causing them to rub against one another.

"Mon Dieu…" whimpered Francis "I want you…"

"I know… don't I know it…" Arthur groaned, as he felt the Frenchman so close to him. He wiggled himself on top of him causing his lover to shudder with sexual desire. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to hold back from his instincts, to thrust, to give it to him. Francis reached up and grabbed him through the soft material, causing Arthur to squirm even more. "Aaaahhhh…" he gasped placing his hand on top of Francis' hand. "Be careful my love…" he hissed.

"How long till we get to the Palace… Mon… Cher…?" Francis struggled to say. He was finding it difficult to keep control.

"Thankfully not long…" Arthur replied as he pulled Francis up by his collar, and kissed him strong and deep.

Soon the carriage came to a stop and Arthur struggled with himself to be able to open the door. He led Francis out and into the Palace entrance.

"This is where I live now.. bequeathed to me by the locals as the new… Prince…" he uttered.

Francis stood in the foyer holding himself and looking quite gorgeous, not really paying attention to his surroundings, only to Arthur. He wanted him so badly, and so responded with deep groans as shaky breaths as his Englishman came on to him again when they entered the palace. Arthur kissed him, and shuddered with a powerful desire. "Come on…" he gasped… "…this way… this way…"

Hurriedly, Arthur led him to a room in the palace, where there was a huge four poster bed, and a small fire burning in a hearth. "Is this your bedroom?" Francis mumbled, too engrossed in Arthurs sweet mouth to care really, all he wanted to do was keep kissing him.

"Uh huh…" gasped Arthur "I could have had you in the carriage but… it wouldn't have been appropriate…" He lay down on the bed and pulled Francis on top of him.

Francis began to undo Arthur's pants button after button and Arthur lay down on the bed and let him do it, his need becoming more and more imminent. Francis pulled back and gazed upon Arthur, his Navy coat and undershirt both open exposing his chest all the way down, his pantaloons undone, exposing his manhood for him. He lay there on his elbows, one knee raised and parting for him. Francis undid his own belt frantically and removed it, he pulled down his own pantaloons and moved on Arthur tugging at his pants, pulling them over his perfect backside he began to prepare him , one finger, then another. Arthur writhed in ecstacy at his touch moving to let him have more access…

"Mon Angleterre sensuelle…." Groaned Francis as he was finally able to fulfil his great need.


	5. Mythical Hell Punishments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur reveals to Francis that he has bound his soul to Hades in order to free the sailors of the HMS Victory from terrible neverending punishments. If the Lord Hades (who calls himself Adam) finds out that Arthur has taken Francis home and made love to him instead of killing him, then he will kill the both of them in an instant.

Arthur and Francis fell asleep together for the first time in a year. This time however it was more sensual and loving than it had ever been, probably because they missed one another so much over all that time.

In the Underworld it was always dark and there was no sense of time, so Francis had no idea what time of day or night it was when he woke up to a soft sound and Arthur sitting on the edge of the bed. He was obviously crying but being quiet and hoping not to wake up his lover. He felt the gentle warmth of the Frenchman's hand on his back and it only made him sob even more.

"Mon Amour…" Whispered Francis gently "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Francis… I'm in terrible trouble… " he replied. "You shouldn't have come here…" he uttered.

The Frenchman frowned and looked at him with concern. "Trouble Mon Cher? What kind of trouble?"

Arthur rocked back and forth and hugged himself, holding his breath a moment to try to gain his composure. "I'm sorry for crying but…I didn't want to wake you…"

"Arthur… we just made love… and it was beautiful… now you are crying and I want to know why, so just tell me… just tell me…" he uttered in reply as he sat next to Arthur stroking his back.

"Oh…" Snuffled Arthur "I… I was sent to kill you today… and I couldn't do it…I just couldn't do it. Now I'm in trouble and so are you…"

"S… someone sent you to…to kill me?" Francis asked, by now both concerned and worried. "W..who?"

"Adam… well he calls himself Adam… his real name is… Hades." Arthur replied looking thoroughly miserable.

"But…why does Hades want you to kill me?" Gulped Francis not sure whether he should be comforting Arthur or making a run for it.

Arthur wept and turned to Francis for a moment, resting his head on his shoulder. "I couldn't kill you because I love you…" He uttered. "I'll never be able to do it…" he sobbed "This is just terrible, Francis…"

"Arthur… what's going on?" Francis whispered as he held him. "You have to tell me now…"

"Have you noticed that I am alone here, and not with the sailors of the HMS Victory? Did you wonder why that was?"

Francis realised that was true, because Arthur was indeed alone in this huge palace. However, he had been so glad to see him and to make love that he hadn't wondered about it at all.

"Now you come to mention it Mon Cher… why are you alone here? Where are the sailors?"

"It's my punishment…" He mumbled sadly. "When we arrived here in the Underworld we were judged by three beings called Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aecus on authority from the God of the Underworld. Hades himself, and we were supposed to live out eternity in endless misery…" He said. "Hardy…sorry Hornblower… was dressed up as a girl and tied to a canon, and he was supposed to be there forever… being whipped by a cat o' nine tails. Then the bosun, Archie, was forced to roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity, and when he got to the top the hill boulder would roll down again and he had to go back and roll it up. Then the officers were turned into zombies, neither alive nor dead and made to live in that godforsaken little town of Saltcoven, having no memory of anything and living on scraps of food…" he uttered. "Everyone was supposed to do these things till the end of time… but they were given a reprieve…" he sniffed as he tried to calm down. "I had to do something to free them… and I did what the God Hades expected of me…"

"What did you do Mon Cher?" gulped Francis as he listened to the tale, thinking how gruesome those punishments were.

"I… had to bind my soul to Adam… sorry … Hades, forever, and he said that if I did so, then my crew could be freed and sent back to the overworld."

"Bind your soul to him? Mon Cher… you didn't…surely…"

"The conditions of the agreement… were that I was to become the Prince of Atlantis and rule over the cursed town of Saltcoven, an outpost of the Atlanteans, and I was to live alone, and that means really alone, with no one for company, not a soul… and that I should remain celibate, and save myself for the Lord Hades, till such a time that he comes to claim me for his own…" he said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "And so, I agreed, and the crewmen were saved from their punishments. Hornblower didn't have to wear a kinky dress anymore or be continually whipped over the canon… Archie didn't have to keep rolling a boulder up a hill… the officers stopped being zombies… they were all freed and sent back to the overworld."

Francis just hugged him at first, not quite sure what to say or do. "Mon Cher" he eventually said "I have come from the overworld to bring you back… we all want you to come home."

Arthur hugged him back and wept into his neck. "I can't leave here Francis… If I do, my life will be snuffed out in an instant…" he gulped "And I was supposed to kill you tonight, not take you home and make love to you… believe me Adam won't like that." he uttered. "If he shows up… he'll kill us both…"

"Alors!" Francis exclaimed defiantly. "I shall meet with this Adam Hades and I shall fight him if I have to… this is terrible!"

"Don't… don't try to be a hero Francis…" Arthur uttered through his tears. "He'll rip you apart in an instant, he has that power." he sobbed. "Somehow I am going to have to get you to the overworld… so you will be safe."

"But…" uttered Francis "You must come with me…"

"I cannot… I can only try to get you to safety before Adam finds out what has happened here today… before he finds out that I love you so desperately…"

"How are you going to do that?"

"On the HMS Victory… she is still seaworthy. I can find a way to get her to sail and if we sail North, I have heard of an island called Thule and a cave that leads out to the coast of Iceland, on the overworld…"

"Mon Cher… I am not going." Francis said defiantly. "There will be a way to free your soul… and if you think I am going to leave you in this mess you have another thing coming. You see I love you too… and I do not want to live on the overworld without you by my side… I have your former Empire but Arthur, it is a hollow Victory. I want you there, and I will face Adam."

Arthur looked deep into Francis' eyes and overcome with love for him, kissed him deeply. "You might not say that if you met him… he is fearsome… "

"Nevertheless… I will not leave you here alone in the Underworld… either you return with me or I die…" Francis said, and he meant every word. "Now how do I meet this…Adam?"


	6. The Wrath of Adam Hades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nations try to open a door to the underworld by reinacting the seige of Troy with a difference... AT SEA. Also Adam Hades is in such a mood right now... gonna make Francis roll a giant boulder up a hill... or something dispicable.

Meanwhile in Greece, Heracles and some of the other nations had decided to form an alliance in order to find France and England who were lost to the Underworld. Allistor Kirkland was there, Alfred , Gilbert Beilschmidt, Antonio Carriedo, Romano Vargas and of course Heracles Karpusi.

Alfred stood there wearing ancient Grecian armour and looking quite the hero.

"Let me get this straight Heracles… you want me to pretend I am Achilles?"

"The idea is to act out an old scenario in the hope that we can find a way into the Underworld." Heracles replied. "And I have chosen of course the siege of Troy.. being that the British are descendants of the Trojans…" he said "When Troy was destroyed, Brutus of Troy made his way through Europe and eventually settled in what is now called Britain, taking with him some survivors of the siege… so I thought it appropriate seeing as England is lost and France, then that would be an appropriate sort of enactment…"

"So, I have to play Achilles…" Alfred said, thinking this would never work. "And what about everyone else…"

"Kesesese…" laughed Gilbert as he also turned up dressed in ancient Grecian armour "I am playing the part of Odysseus… don't I look awesome?" he said "So what did Odysseus do at Troy?"

"Well it was down to him that they came up with the idea of a wooden horse, after all he had the reputation of being extremely cunning." Heracles said "And I shall be playing Hector." he said as he placed a shining helmet upon his head. "So Achilles this means we have to pretend to be at war with one another." he said as the helmet muffled his words. Alfred spoke back in equally muffled words.

"I don't see how this is going to open a gateway to the Underworld…" he said "And anyway didn't they go down in ships?"

Scotland arrived and he didn't look happy. "Who the fuck was King Priam anyway? How am I s'posed tae play a part o' some auld Greek when I dinnae even ken who he wiz?"

"Don't worry Allistor…" Heracles said still muffled by the helmet "You get to play my father… and King of Troy, and as you are sort of British, isn't that appropriate?"

"I read a part of the Iliad ok… and if you expect me to get doon oan my knees in front o' Alfred and dae whit must be done…." He yelled "You've git anuther thing cumin pal!"

Alfred chuckled at that thought. He liked the idea that he was to be the main hero of this scenario.

Spain arrived also dressed in the Greek armour. "Senors I am ready!" he said as he checked a script. "Apparently I am going to be someone called Diomedes… and Romano is to play Aeneas… is that right?"

Romano stood there in his armour looking quite comfortable in it. "Well here I am… what's my motivation?"

"We are supposed to be pretending to be at war so that a gateway to the Underworld will open and we can go there to rescue France and England…" Heracles said. "In this scenario of course France is playing the part of Hector's brother ironically called Paris…"

"That means mah wee sissy brother is playing Helen… hahahaha…" laughed Allistor. "Well he is a big girl anyway."

"Alright…" Heracles said from now on you all call me Hector right?

"Right." Everyone replied.

"And I am at war with America who you will now call Achilles."

"Gotcha." They all replied.

"Now…" he continued "There will be one important difference in this siege of Troy…" he said "Seeing as Troy no longer exists… we shall be reinacting the battle on the sea…" he continued as he led them to a ship waiting in the harbour. "This should also make it easier to sail into the Underworld when a gateway opens."

They boarded the ship, called "The Odyssey" and took their places for the reinactment of he siege of Troy, hoping that somehow Heracles idea would work.

Meanwhile in the Underworld Arthur had managed to fall asleep again in the arms of his Frenchman. He groaned a little as Francis hugged him and kissed his forehead. "Good morning Mon Cher. Are you feeling better?"

"No…" he mumbled. "But having you here is comforting…" he said. "I am very worried for you, if Adam finds you here…"

"He probably thinks you killed me." Francis said quietly. "He probably doesn't think you would dare to go against his wishes."

"Even so… I am driven by an urgency to make the HMS Victory sail again, so that you can sail back to the overworld." Arthur said as he sat up. "I couldn't help myself Francis… you're the love of my life and always have been. I should have left you alone…"

"Non, mon amour, you should not… in fact I have to say you were very passionate…" he said as he took Arthur in his arms and kissed him. "I am still not leaving you here… and however much you protest I will try to find a way to bring you home."

"I don't think you are listening to me Francis…" Arthur uttered as the kiss grew deeper. "Adam will rip you apart… or make you roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity or something God awful like that…"

Suddenly there were three loud bangs on the door of the bedroom and a deep voice shouted from the other side.

"ARTHUR KIRKLAND" said whoever it was. "OPEN THIS DOOR OR I SHALL BREAK IT DOWN!"

Francis clung to Arthur suddenly. "Who is that? Is that Adam?"

Arthur also clung to Francis. "Oh God… speak of the Devil!" he said in alarmed whisper. "Get under the bed… hide!" he urged as he hurriedly threw his clothes on. "Don't let him see you!"

Frantically Arthur got dressed and Francis hid under the bed. Arthur tried to make himself look half way decent and not ravaged, and sexy as he did look at that moment. Adam of course was not going to stand outside waiting for him to get his act together, he broke the door down and walked into the bedroom, beholding Arthur still trying to look less like he'd just been making love. Cerberus his faithful three headed hound entered with him and stood at his side.

"Adam…hehehe…" he uttered. "Fancy seeing you here at this hour…"

Adam was a dark slender clean shaven figure, with messy black hair and an eye patch. He wore a long black pirate style coat, and black gloves, a pair of knee length leather boots and jet black pantaloons. and when he moved it was with the utmost gentlemanly grace. Underneath a black waistcoat he wore a frilled shirt and around his neck was a spyglass on a chain. He smelled the air and looked around suspiciously with his one good eye, and walked around the room. Cerberus snuffled everywhere, even under the bed, almost scaring the life out of Francis. Then he growled with his three heads, before Adam recalled him to his side. "Hush now Cerberus" he said and then turned to Arthur.

"Did you kill that Frenchman as instructed Arthur my dear?" he said "Only the bartender said you were on the verge of fucking his brains out… that I can well believe…"

"Did he say that?" gulped Arthur nervously "How silly of him to think such a thing…"

"Is it now?" Adam said as he stood in front of Arthur beholding his messy dress sense and ruffled up hair. He also raised a brow as he saw what appeared to be a hickey on his neck.

"What is that?" he asked.

"Oh its… uhh… he hit me with a Sea Bass… it left a bruise." Arthur stammered, wary of the hound at Adam's side who didn't take its six eyes off him.

"He hit you with a Sea Bass?" Adam growled "On your neck?"

Arthur didn't answer him, he just looked down sort of guilty and sheepish. Of course Adam knew what had happened, he just enjoyed making him feel like crap.

Francis was cowering under the bed when Adam knelt down and looked at him. "Come out from under the bed Bonnefoy… you have some explaining to do."

Defiantly Francis got out from under the bed and stood firm beside Arthur and in front of Adam Hades. "Monsieur you are the most European looking Greek God I have ever seen."

Adam raised a brow and laughed. "I take any form I see fit… and I kind of like the fashion. You of all people should be able to appreciate that…" he said in a soft and yet sinister English voice. "I kind of like the European bourgeoise style." he chuckled. Suddenly he was surrounded by fire and looked a lot taller and darker. "AND WHAT IN TEN HELLS WERE YOU DOING WITH KIRKLAND LAST NIGHT? SPEAK NOW OR BE CONDEMNED FOREVER!"

The three headed hound would have devoured both of them but Adam held him back and laughed in a sinister tone, as the dog barked and growled and slavered over what could have been his prey.

Francis screamed and clung to Arthur, who clung on to him in return. "I told you not to be a Hero Francis, he's going to rip you apart!"

"Non.. monsieur Adam do not tear my soul apart, I beg of you!" he whimpered. "Aa…aaand may I compliment you on your exquisite pantaloons and your eye patch…" he said trying to suck up to him stupidly "Is it aesthetic or functional Hehehe?"

"Functional…" he replied.

They both knelt in front of Adam Hades who seemed to look bigger and stronger as the seconds went by, he even had horns forming on his forehead.

"As a punishment for your disobedience Kirkland, you shall be a slave forever in Tartarus… and you Bonnefoy… I have something very special in mind for you." he roared.

"Oh no please don't make me roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity…" cried Francis.

"Please don't send me to Tartarus… please…" wept Arthur. "I'll do anything!"

"Me too I'll do anything!" cried Francis. "Even kissing the gunners daughter for your exquisite pleasure.." he continued "I don't mind being whipped by a cat o' nine tails…"

"Me too…" Arthur wailed. "I will suck you off day and night…please don't send me to Tartarus!"

Francis sort of scowled at Arthur when he said that. "You've never sucked ME off…" he muttered.

"You never asked…" Arthur hissed in reply.

"Neither did he…" he grumbled. "Yet you offer to suck off him…"

"Sorry… I won't do it again. What about you offering to kiss the gunners daughter for all eternity? That's just as bad…"

"Arthur our lives are at stake!" he said in an angry whisper "If I don't offer to do him sexual favours he might kill me…"

"I'm just doing the same thing as you." Arthur replied in an equally angry whisper.

There was a long pause as Adam contemplated the situation. He paced the floor for a few moments and returned his appearance to that of the dark pirate-like human figure. "Hmm.." He said. "I shall think about it… "

"If I may … Monsieur Adam…" Francis said raising his hand. "… I offer my soul in place of Arthur Kirklands soul.. that he might be saved from Tartarus and sent instead back to the overworld."

"No Francis!" gasped Arthur "You can't do that!"

"You would offer your soul in place of your little Angleterre would you Bonnefoy?" Adam asked as he approached him. "And why would you do such a ridiculous thing?"

"L' amour…" he uttered. "I love him… I would gladly take his place and any punishment you place upon me."

Adam stared at him for a moment with his one good eye. "Very well.." he eventually said. "In twenty four hours… Kirkland will be free and you Bonnefoy… you shall take his place…" he said with a small grin. With that Adam skipped out of the door leaving his calling card which read simply "Adam Hades, Lord of the Underworld"

"Come Cerberus..." he said flamboyantly. "You may eat them tomorrow.. no doubt."

Arthur fainted as Francis stood there reading the calling card. He didn't notice at first. "Adam Hades.. " he read out loud. "Prepare to meet your doom… Lord of the Underworld… " he muttered. "Somehow I will defeat you…" he said and turned to see Arthur passed out on the floor.


	7. The Worst Seige of Troy EVER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred, Heracles, Gilbert, Romano and Antonio reinact the Seige of Troy badly and it makes Hades laugh out loud so he opens a portal for them.

Adam Hades mansion – The Underworld

As he entered the mansion he slammed the door behind him, it wasn't deliberate, he just needed to get the hinges fixed. He jumped when it made a noise.

"Damn…" he hissed. "Every time…" he mumbled as he got out some Dog food for Cerberus. He read the label for a moment.

"Oh this is good… yes its dinner time… who's a good doggie? Yes… you are…" He said as his three headed hound waited patiently to be fed. After feeding the dog and as it devoured its din dins, he walked over to the fish tank where there was a tiny merman swimming around inside it.

"Hello tiny Posiedon…" he said with a chortle. "365 days of being smaller than a Sea Bass… how does it feel?"

"When I get out of here I will churn you up and feed you to the sharks!" screamed tiny Poseidon who was clearly under some strange enchantment. "I might be three inches in length but even I know that giving those idiots a day… is a bad idea!"

"What idiots?" Adam said with fake innocence. "Oh… Kirkland and Bonnefoy… I know… yes… you think I should have given them an hour?"

"What are you even playing at? Seriously!" yelled tiny Poseidon. "If I was full sized again you'd be laughing on the other side of your face!"

"Aren't you cute when you're trying to be aggressive?" laughed Adam. "I told you its up to Father to turn you back to normal size, until then you're my pet… " he said. "And I know, giving them 24 hours was crazy wasn't it? But what fun do I have stuck down here 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Everyone here is fucking depressed…" he said with a sigh.

He sat down and looked into a large crystal that he held in his hand. "Well now lets see what we can see with the magic crystal…"

"That's a fake." said tiny Poseidon and folded his arms in a huff.

"Wrong fishface… it's pure obsidian… so… lets see whats happening…."

There appeared in the crystal, a vision of something that was going on in the overworld. Alfred dressed as Achilles was reading from a script, badly.

"Hector!" he yelled "I will break your body into a thousand pieces you… heathen!" he read, and then hit Hectors helmet with the sword. He was so amateur at this he made Adam Hades laugh out loud and he continued to watch.

"Ow! That hurt Achilles. "You are invincible it seems!" Heracles dressed as Hector replied and pretended to fall down. Again he it was so badly acted that Adam screamed out in laughter.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" he cried, laughing. "This is the worst reinactment of the siege of Troy I have ever seen."

"Och…Aye… that bastard is gonnae win this battle… its no fair… as Ah've only ane sun left…" Allistor said. "Ach… ye're an ugly fucker… see these fists? They'll cunt ye a belter…" he said reading the script wrong.

"Just a minute… just a minute…" Heracles said as he took his helmet off. "You are supposed to be in LOVE with Achilles… see the direction." he said pointing to the script. "Priam stared upon the godlike form of Achilles as he would a lover."

"I telt ye at the beginin… Ah'm no gonnae be a sissy… Ah dinnae love Alfred, Ah'm no gonnae gaze upon his form like he's some gobshite God…"

"Will you just stick to the script please Allistor?" Heracles said "We want the gateway to the Underworld to open for us, and that won't happen if you can't stick to the script."

"Jesus…ok" Allistor said rolling his eyes. "Oh thou art as beautiful as any man I have seen Achilles, why I could kiss your lips… even though you have killed my son in the most horrific of ways." he said looking very annoyed.

Alfred got into the overacting again. "OOOOH Priam… thou art as my own father… an old man… and yet… your beauty surpasses any of your age in all of Troy…" he said and swooned. "I shall now cry, for I miss my father greatly…" he uttered.

"Aye…" Allistor groaned. "Fuckin… I'll let ma tears fall as well fur ye killed my son…." he said "Who wrote this script anyway?"

Adam by this time was on the floor crying with laughter at this hilarious reinactment of the Seige of Troy. It was terrible, like a kids amateur stage production. He continued to watch.

"Behold…" said Gilbert playing Odysseus as he took to the stage. "I have built this wooden whore…" he said and checked the script. "Horse…" he uttered. "Wait can I try that again?" He took his position again and began. "Behold, I have built this wooden horse that we might give it as a gift to King Priam of Troy as a peace offering!" he said "But Achilles you must hide inside with me and all the rest of the army, and we shall be victorious!"

Adam screamed with laughter in his lair as he watched the production. "That is the most hilarious thing I've seen in years… Poseidon have you seen this?" he asked the tiny fishman in the tank. "This bunch of idiots are trying to reinact the Siege of Troy…"

Tiny Poseidon watched from the fish tank and even he couldn't help giggling at it.

"Vot you must do is climb inside the whore…horse…" Gilbert said pretending to by Odysseus reading from the script. "And behold the Trojans will open the gates and… and we will attack at midnight."

"Odysseus thou art a genius indeed!" Alfred said pretending to be Achilles. "We shall win this siege of Troy already! Can we stop now? I need some lunch…"

"You know what, if they are that desperate to get into the Underworld I'm going to let them…" Adam giggled, hardly able to get the words out. "With a wave of my hand shall a gateway open…" he uttered and collapsed in fits of laughter.

On the overworld they were taking a break from doing the Seige of Troy and had stopped for lunch and some ale.

"You know, playing the lead role of Achilles, I honestly believe I have found my calling." Alfred said as he downed half a bottle of rum. "And this outfit really shows off my muscles…"

"You certainly have muscles alright…" laughed Gilbert.

"Whit the Holy Fuck is this Fuckin script?" groaned Allistor. "Anybuddy would think Priam and Achilles were… you know… dating…"

Alfred wiggled his eyebrows at Allistor who stared at him in an aggressive way.

"Seriously you guys, if we want a gateway to the Underworld to open we are going to have to get a bit more serious here." Heracles interrupted. "If you must know homosexuality was rife back in the day…" he mused as if remembering.

"Oh my God!" Romano uttered. He was standing at the helm waiting to say his line in the script when he noticed something strange happening in the distance. "GATEWAY TO THE UNDERWORLD AHEAD!" he yelled, not quite believing it.

"You're kidding me!" Alfred said as he jumped up, spilling his drink everywhere.

"Vot do you mean a gatevey? Ohhh… " gasped Gilbert, his eyes wide. "Zat is kind of cool."

Antonio got up from behind Romano and looked out to sea, hardly believing his eyes. "Romano, steer towards that big swirly thing right now!" he gasped. "No way… its impossible…"

"The Underworld!" Heracles gasped, his eyes bright. "Here we go people… now we can rescue our friends."

Francis gasped as he saw his love faint on the floor in front of him. "Mon Cher… wake up…wake up…" he uttered, slapping him gently on the face. "Are you alright?"

"Francis…" groaned Arthur as he came round "I thought you said you were going to take my place and sell your soul to Hades… why…why did you do that?"

"I have no idea…" he said "It just seemed the right thing to do."

"Uhh… I never expected you to make such a sacrifice for me…" Arthur replied. "You do realise you'll be stuck here for all eternity…"

Francis helped Arthur to his feet and kissed him. Arthur responded, kissing him back and hugging him. "Why did you do that Francis? Why?" He uttered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too.. Je t'aime…" sighed Francis. "I thought that if we managed to get the HMS Victory sailing we could sail our way out of the Underworld before the new contract took place, then Hades would lose…" he said. "And this way, you have to come with me… see?"

Arthur grinned, his eyes full of love for his Frenchman, and he kissed him again, holding him tight. "You did it Francis… or at least … if we get the Victory sailing again…" he said excitedly. "We should get down to the beach immediately and get working on it!" he said as he took Francis by the hand. "Come on!"

"Of course Mon Cher.. but let me get dressed first non?" Francis said as he kissed him once more. "I will only be a moment."


	8. Death by Tentacle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America is eaten by a huge tentacled lovecraftian beast. England is put under a curse of unhappiness for all eternity unless Hades changes his mind. Still, no one can understand a word of anything Allistor says.

Knowing exactly what to do in this situation, Arthur lowered a rope so that everyone could climb aboard the HMS Victory. He was pleased to see everyone but also partly annoyed because that meant he wasn't alone with Francis anymore. Even so, they all came aboard and were quite relieved to have been pulled out of the black ocean.

"Gosh England!" said America obviously relieved "I that we were all goners then."

"So did I" Allistor said "I didnae think we'd get oot o' there!"

Blank faces once again stared at Allistor. England had to translate. "He was worried you would not be saved."

"Ohhhh…." everyone said collectively.

"I must thank you for saving us, but really you must learn how to steer a ship properly…" Heracles said. "What were you doing?" he asked looking first to Arthur and then to Francis who tried to look innocent. He got it straight away, and didn't continue with that line of questioning, he just chuckled a little.

The huge tentacled beast that lived in the black ocean however was not finished with them, as slowly and sneakily, one of its huge tentacles slithered up the side of the HMS Victory, very near to where Alfred was standing.

"We didn't think we'd find you at all." Antonio said "We imagined you'd got yourselves into all kinds of trouble.

"Turns out you have this massive ship and might have got out of the Underworld yourselves…" Gasped Romano who was still tired out from climbing up the rope.

"So… any dry clothes on board?" Alfred asked "This Grecian armour sure shows off my muscles but I'd like to get dry now…"

"Ja it does show off your muscles…" Prussia said. "You are almost as awesome as me…"

America posed like a model, deliberately showing off his muscles and everyone was suitably impressed, even Francis, who Arthur caught looking at America inappropriately. Francis noticed and immediately smiled at him and then gave Arthur a little pat on the backside, which made him smile slowly. He winked at Francis and mouthed "later" as the other nations seemed to marvel over America's muscular form.

"Aye he might huv muscles but he wiz feert o' that tentacled beastie…" laughed Allistor.

Everyone looked to Arthur for translation again. "Oh, he said that whilst America might be quite muscular and therefore manly, he was also scared of the tentacled beast that lives in the black ocean…"

"Aye that's whit a said…aye…" said an annoyed Allistor

As they were laughing, they did not notice the rise of the tentacle which slithered on to the deck and suddenly wrapped itself around Alfred.

"AAAAARGH!" he screamed in a very girly way. "Somebody save me!" he cried "Allistor…help meee…." he yelled as he was hoisted aloft by the black slithering tentacle.

"America!" cried Allistor, in genuine concern, as the young nation was sadistically grabbed and taken from them. He realised everyone was watching him, and his concern for Alfred… and then he continued …"ya… wee.. fanny…" he said pretending to be manly about it, but it was clear to everyone that Allistor wasn't the big brawny bastard he made himself out to be.

America was in the grip of some gigantic Lovecraftian beast, that would not let go. He hacked at it uselessly with the sword he had been given but it was no more than a prop and didn't do much damage. The beast roared and pulled down its gigantic tentacle, and Alfred with it, as it swallowed him right up, Alfred screamed and struggled to get free, but it was useless. He had become the beast's meal, and as everyone watched, he was eaten alive in one fell swoop…

They just couldn't believe what they had witnessed, hearts practically stopped. Allistor in particular seemed very affected by this, and he screamed out, gripping the edge of the starboard bow, screaming out. "Alfred! No! No!" he cried and had to be dragged away from there before he jumped in on some suicide mission. Romano and Antonio took him into the first mate's cabin which was next to the Admiral's cabin, and sat with him for a while to calm him down. All that show of bravado was an act, and Allistor actually did like Alfred.

Francis, and Arthur retired to the Admirals cabin in shock whilst Heracles and Gilbert offered to steer the ship, given that England and France seemed incapable of it. Who should be waiting for them in the cabin but Adam Hades himself and his cursed three headed hound, sitting at the desk where Admiral Nelson used to sit, He stroked Cerabus with his elaborately decorated fingers, upon which a big black obsidian and silver ring sat, alongside others, and adorned with the blackest of black nail varnish.

"Seriously… you honestly believed you could get out of the Underworld, from a God who can be everywhere at once, you disappoint me both of you…" Adam sighed. "Of course, I knew such feeble minds could not contemplate my greatness…"

Terrified, they both tried to get out of the cabin again. but the doors were sealed shut. "I'm the God of the Underworld, how difficult was it for you to work out that I can see everything you are doing?"

"Lord Hades…" grovelled Francis. "It will not be long now before I take Arthur's place and you set him free… I trust that the agreement is still valid?"

"No." Hades replied. "There's someone else who would make a better Prince of Atlantis than either of you. Oh no… no.. you two will be given the most severe of punishments…" he said.

Arthur decided that he would finally stand up to Adam, after all, his fate was sealed anyway. They were not going to get out of there, and if he was going to go to Tartarus then so be it, but not without a fight.

"Those people out there are our friends, and they came to rescue us from this place…" he said "I would prefer it if you did not detain them here… and in return I shall give you what you want." He uttered "I only ask that you let me have some time alone with the man I love… just a little time…"

"Arthur what are you saying?"

"I must sacrifice myself for your life Francis, and all of the others…"

"It's admirable but far too late for any of that." Adam said. "All of you shall incur a punishment, that is after all why I am here… now this ship will automatically steer itself to Atlantis and during that time I shall think of suitable punishments for all of you… have the little time you want with your boyfriend." he said. "I never found you that attractive anyway." he continued with a smirk. "In the meantime, until I decide otherwise, you, Kirkland, will never feel happy again… henceforth from this moment you shall feel extreme sadness, that you will never recover from. Just because I'm nice like that.. and let you off lightly…"

"Why are you doing this to him?" Francis asked angrily, "To any of us? What have we done to deserve your wrath?"

"Well someone's got to pay for the sins of mankind." chuckled Adam as if this was just an everyday occurrence. "If you do something wrong you are judged and sentenced, and you have to carry out that sentence… don't you agree Bonnefoy? Surely you have such things as laws on the overworld?"

"But Arthur didn't do anything, and Alfred didn't do anything but he was eaten by a giant beast, and I didn't do anything… I honestly couldn't say that about Prussia though… "

Adam stroked all three of Cerberus' heads and the dog panted and growled a little. "Good doggie… cute little pooch…" he mumbled. "Maybe I have a milk bar…" he said searching his pockets. "Ah here we are…" he said and fed him some chocolate. He then turned to Francis. "I have a job to do you know. When people enter the Underworld, my agents will judge them and I will set punishments, its what I do… I mean, how much clearer can I make it?" he laughed. "It's not anything personal I assure you." he said and then looked serious. "But I really don't appreciate being lied to or have you run out on me when I gave you 24 hours. That was kind of… shitty…" he said with a frown. "And so to Atlantis…" he roared, and with that he was gone.

England slumped to the ground immediately feeling really awful, and guilty about lots of things and fearful.

"Ugh… C'est insufferable!" cried Francis. "Can we never escape this dreadful place?"

"Probably not!" England choked, and little sobs escaped him. "We are probably doomed for all eternity, just when I thought we could be free… oh why did everyone come to save me?"

"This calls for immediate discussion!" Francis cried. He was used to revolutions and revolts and he wasn't going to take this either. "We must gather everyone together to see if we can come up with a solution to this."

Francis exited the Admirals cabin, and called everyone to a meeting, something was going to have to be done, but what exactly? Not even he knew the answer. However, as the ship was now under an incantation and being directed straight to Atlantis, at least they didn't have to steer. Soon, Romano, Antonio, Heracles, Gilbert, Allistor, Francis and Arthur were sitting at the Admirals table, trying to think of a way out of their predicament.

"You are kidding me…!" Heracles exclaimed. "You actually met Hades?"

"Met him? Met him?" Francis replied. "Time to fill you in on exactly what he did… you arent' going to believe this." he continued. "When the HMS Victory sank, England offered to bind his soul to Hades, so that the crew could go free, and Hades honoured that agreement…"

"He didn't!" exclaimed Allistor in disbelief. He turned to Arthur who looked absolutely miserable.

"Not any more…" Arthur mumbled. "Francis was supposed to take my place but now the whole deal is off and I tried to do the same for all of you, I was willing to stay here and you could all go free but now he said it was too late for th…that…"

Francis put his arm around England and he turned to him in anguish, as the curse placed upon him by Hades took effect, that he would never be happy again.

"Shh… Mon Cher…" uttered Francis comfortingly.

"Och… that isnae any different tae an aurra day…" grumbled Allistor.

"Vot?" Gilbert asked clueless.

"He' always greetin' a' the time…"

"Vot?"

"He was being insulting." Arthur said as he tried to translate what Allistor said. "He said I always c..cry…" he uttered "I'm under a bloody curse… I can't feel happy… never ever again… don't you get it?"

Francis hugged him, patting him on the back, though his attempts at comfort would be useless as England would never know happiness from this moment forth. "Hush Mon Petit Lapin"

"I can't help it Francis, I just feel so wretched…" sobbed England burying his head in Francis' neck.

Antonio looked sympathetic towards them. "Look, If there's one thing I do know its how to steer a ship." he said. "I shall go out there and try to fight against the pull to take this vessel to Atlantis… you never know… we might be able to break free of it."

"I will help you." Romano volunteered.

"And if there's ane thing ah ken aboot its magic… Ah'll see if ah kin fun a wiy tae break this curse a' right?"

Once again the blank faces told Allistor he had to try to speak in an English way. "Oh Geoffrey eh what… I say… I shall jolly well find a way to break this curse old thing… " he said. Everyone laughed except England who couldn't. In fact he found that even more insulting than usual.

"I have nothing to contribute…" said Gilbert, "But I am awesome and that should be enough."

Heracles stood up and in his hand he held a copy of Homer's Iliad. "There may be a solution in here." he said. "After all, Hades must have been enamoured by our production of the Seige of Troy… I shall search for some way to trick him into letting us leave here… all of us…"

"Except America…" sighed Allistor.

"Yes.. god rest his soul…" Heracles sighed. "But the rest of us will get out of here alive… when I find the solution…" he said inspirationally, holding the Iliad aloft.

**Author's Note:**

> Prince of Players, Pawn of none  
> Born with steel reins on the heart of the Sun  
> Gypsy explorer of the New Jersey Heights  
> Exalted companion of T-Rex nights 
> 
> Cos he's a  
> Oh he's a  
> He's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> Oh, will anybody ever care 
> 
> Now he's only eighteen, in exile he was  
> To the deserted kingdoms of a mythical boss  
> Distraction he wanted, to destruction he fell  
> Now he forever stalks the ancient  
> Mansions of hell 
> 
> Cos he's a  
> Oh he's a  
> He's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> A Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> Oh, will anybody ever care 
> 
> Now his lovers have left him  
> And his youth is ill spent  
> He cries in the dungeons, tries to repent  
> Change is a m-m-monster and changing is hard  
> So he'll freeze away summers in his  
> Underground yard 
> 
> Cos he's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> He's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> Oh, will anybody ever care 
> 
> He's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> He's a Dandy in the Underworld  
> Dandy in the Underworld  
> When will he come up for air,  
> Oh, will anybody ever care 
> 
> Don't you ever, don't you ever,  
> Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
> 
> Dandy in the Underworld - Adam and the Ants


End file.
